Math Horizon April 2007 Spoof on Shalosh B. Ekhad

[Appeared inside the article "Mathematical Enquirer (Volume 1 Issue 0, April 1, 2007)", pp. 17-20 of Math Horizons April 2007 issue. The article was written by Gary Gordon, Dan Kalman, Liz McMahon, Roger Nelsen, and Bruce Reznik]

Electronic Journal of Computational Mathematics Launched

The Atari Corporation announced a new research journal, exclusively devoted to articles written by computers, for computers. This journal fills a much needed gap in what current research journals offer. According to Shalosh B. Ekhad, spokescomputer for the new journal, "Computers have made tremendous advances in all fields of mathematics, in the past forty years. Humans are no longer necessary for the most important new research." The spokescomputer offered a spectacular example: "We were able to prove the twin-primes conjecture simply by checking all positive integers. No human being can possibly do that", it boasted.

The journal, which will be edited by computers which have been discarded, is referred affectionately by its nickname 11235813. The editorial offices will be located beneath the Hackensack River bridge on the New Jersey Turnpike. The first volume, which occupies some 20,000 yottabytes, gives a "new" proof of the four-color theorem, eliminating any step that could possibly be checked by human beings. In a subsequent issue, the computers plan to give a "one-line solution" to the P. vs. NP problem (although the line will include an infinite loop).


Opinion 80 of Doron Zeilberger

Shalosh B. Ekhad's Homepage