• We're undefined!
• Notice that the word 'unknown' has a 'k' in it. Why is that?
• *drops paper clip* "Oh, sh*t! Now, pick up only one - only one! Or you'll be killed!"
• "This is a very valuable prize. It came from far away - very precious." "THREE BANANAS?!? They're not even ripe!"
• I'll show you though... I'm extremely smart.
• There aren't enough copies so share.. Cher used to be married to Sonny.
• "What do you need to do?" "Add... subtract..." "Very good. This is very advanced already." "Multiply..." * very excited voice* "One more! Can you get it??"
• He's still living, he's a very happy individual. We'll talk about why he's happy next week.
• I still want to add... What's that one? *points to 'x' *
• *when talking about clock arithmetic* I'm only interested in what happens whatever this *points to 0* in your local language
• "Thank you very much for your contributionn - shutup!"
• How many would five 4 o'clocks? Eh... English as you can see is not my native language... And you go home and tell them that someone wrote this on the board. "9+5 = 2"
• "What is 7x8?" "56!" "You have braincells devoted to this?"
• Here is the "Offishal name." "Not the official spelling though."
• Work! WORK! Don't look at me! I am very handsome though...
• No, you're at a higher institute of learning. You cna't say reciprocal, you have to say "multiplicative inverse"
• There is a hand in back - is there a foot? This is a foot.*picks up foot*
• *speaking to a radio* "Beam me up!" ... when it rings again... "Would you turn off your spleen?"
• One of the things I do when I jog in the mornings is look at license plates and try to factor them.
• Close your eyes and see the multiplication talbe of 9001. Check that there are no zeros. Maybe if you are divine you can see it in your head.
• Six teams entered the GREAT TOAD CONTEST!
• There are a lot of things I think about when I wake up at 6:00 and check my email- DRUGS?
• You learn one thing in college: PEOPLE STANDING UP DON'T MAKE MISTAKES!
• "Did you do your homework?" "Yes." "Good boy...doggy treat next time."
• (I'ts 10!) English spelling sucks!
• I only want to count the prefix fours.
• I come here sometimes at midnight to give lectures! They're wonderful! The room's empty.
• I'm now going to say an obscene word. I just gave you a proof to a theorem. I don't think you're allowed to say 'clearly' to you. You're too young. It's like a drinking age.
• I send this [] and it means "I love you" You send this /\ and it means... you should be six feet under.
• "the language of the Navajos was used in cryptography." "That's actually not really cryptology." "Ohhhhhhh" "Why is everyone boo-ing at me?" "Maybe they're Navajos!"
• This is what's technically known as BAD.
• The other 50 notes are going to be copied out with quill pen by monks.
• Alice and Bob both have copies of the 1937 World Almanac, which I'm sure is in everybody's home.
• 12 equals L, so what the L!
• You can't have a bright idea every other second because gee, then you'd have to distribute copies of the 1937 World Almanac across the world.
• They had lots of switches that went bingle-bingle.
• There are about 300 people who can legally read your email, and they're not evil people... they're just curious people.
• They're not your grandfather's prime numbers... or something
• *experiencing confusion* *hits head with chalkboard eraser*
• Help! Doesn't anybody have a TI 89?
• Bob sends: 2. That's a pretty stupid message, but at least I can compute it
• At 3:00 I ran around the track five times. I feel like sh*t... talking to you is better than running around the track at 3 in the afternoon
• "I frequently get emails that say: I love you.. you probably do too." "I do. From guys" (Jake) *silence*
• I get an email. Maybe its from sherlene. maybe its from Brutus.
• Let's choose a big prime number: *as written on the chalkboard* "Let's a big prime. P"
• This is extremely clever because it's really stupid.
• Let me tell you about the real world, which is filled with evil people. I'm in the real world.
• [Trust] Weird.
• The people who study what 'hard' means...
• Tell him to go to... *stops and smiles*
• Somebody just said single addition was in third grade... that must be south jersey
• 376+852 = 1228. Is this good or is this good?
• Anyway, anyway, shut up, shut up
• You could make a million dollars because there's a prize for it. And then he said, you can make more than a million by stealing it!
• By the way, the correct criticism should be "boy, this is stupid"
• What is this practicality crap? This is a classroom!
• "So I've given you a problem - what do you think?" "What do you think?" "Well, it depends on the time of day."
• Is that a big number? (2^2000) Well, that's why people like video games, because that's a big number!
• I don't know if I agree with him. He's a little weirder than I am.
• You've been asleep - are you allowed to answer?
• 3 (III). NEW (gnu) homework competitions.
• I would be happpy to get emails from lots of you and not respond to you
• "Math teaching consists of someone really intelligent standing up here and teaching..." "Then why are you here?"
• He's so pretty.. and if you go to sleep again I'll hit you!
• ha ha ha all those illegal tapes of ballet! *when discussing copyright*
• Apparently,they don't copyright smells.
• If I were a rock musician.. well first of all, I shouldn't be a rock musician...
• We could have a seminar on The Hulk that would consist of me saying "And now.. The Hulk"
• The first animal was the RADISH... the fierce animal the RADISH
• Do not finger the prize!
• They also identified the CELERY... another animal you would not want to encounter at night
• "Too many Swedish people!" "Sveeeden!"
• "If you're calling someone from Omaha to order six-headed buffalo.. yes, buffalo! Do you know how hard this is?"
• Human beings SUCK as sources of randomness.
• See, your time at Rutgers is not all wasted. There's a herd of buffalo in Readington, New Jersey!
• My... I dropped the eraser
• It's very good, they're drawing pornographic pictures. And it's not just pornographic pictures, it's pictures of shrews.
• I'm not supposed to say LIMIT in front of you - you're too young!
• In the 1920s... a dirty Commy, I mean.. one of our Russian friends... *discussing kolmogorov and the foundations of probability*
• What are all the possible outcomes of this rather stupid game?
• Am I allowed to write a big sigma or would you just barf?
• I weigh 6000 pounds. Oh well. Worker's compensation *when climbing to stand on a table*
• At least, very few coins I know remember their past coin flip.
• This is the height of technology for me - I hope you will not get too excited *brings out colored chalk*
• This is supposed to be red... this is supposed to be green... and this is supposed to be BRUE?
• For those of you who are Babylonian, this is 180 degrees.
• The mental age of a llama... ahhhh...
• It's 17 2/3 dollars! And you know why? Because he said so!
• I am gathering that no one in this room has gambled besides me... otherwise, boy, I would love to play cards with you
• .. which is very hard for me... I hate pure thought...
• I hope this is not poison ivy. Oh. *drinks soda*
• "What to do with equations?" "We could add them.. subtract.." "Always go with the second choice!"
• "Yes, yes! It's the dread overhead! ... why does it take three centuries.. I'll show you I'm in the 20th century!" "Clear paper! Where did you get that?!?"
• Is this the light? This is the one that says 'Gas the room!' Now don't reproduce!
• I have a laser! A student from governor's school last year gave me a laser but then I shot... never mind...
• I'm going to return to chalk on Monday. This (projector) is too modern for me.
• Now you massage this algebraically - ahhh - nice formula.
• Do you know these rays sterilize you? Your comment should be 'thank god.'
• I can turn the lights down *singing* 'Now the sun's down'
• You can stand up and come to me, my children - with money!
• You can go home and tell your math teacher that while you were at Rutgers someone stood up and went - ? - and your teacher will say 'Kid, you were on drugs.'
• It's so dark; can you hold my hand?
• I come here at night, and I close my eyes, and I feel the sound bouncing off the walls, and then the cops come.
• This is a function that wiggles a bit, and I like things that wiggle a bit.
• This has a degree of 2,046. I know because I computed it one evening because no one loves me.
• You - may - NOT - watch porno movies during the math lecture!
• Many of you were born.
• Ohh - you are so CLEVER for a Norwegian!
• (explaining the pigeonhole principle)assuming they want to go in a hole.. and they're alive "and it's not a leap year" (Lou)
• That's not a religious symbol! POSITIVE! POSITIVE!
• I think they put mouse tails in M&M's - DON'T QUOTE ME!
• No, don't cover your face just because you can't do arithmetic! HAHAHA! Oh, sorry. *said to Dana Andre who sent these quotes to me*
• Tomorrow when you come in this room, this WHOLE auditorium will be filled with M&M's.
• It's just like feeding seals!!!*while throwing small chocolate bars to students in the whole large room*
• Ah! It's the last piece of blue chalk in the department because of the budget situation

Maintained by greenfie@math.rutgers.edu and last modified 8/4/2003.